"If you don't give your heart wings, you'll never fly."

This past weekend was very, very busy. We spent Friday through Sunday with family, but I think I overdid it. We don't usually fill our weekends like this, and probably will try not to do it again anytime soon. By Sunday night, I was exhausted. On Monday, I felt nauseous and headachy, and yes, a little depressed. I rescheduled my training workout until Tuesday, and spent the day napping and cleaning my house. By the time I was done, I felt better that the house was finally clean, but that old "stinkin' thinkin'" crept right back into my head, and I felt weighted down with sadness.

My son's heart is broken because his second baby boy who died mysteriously in-utero was to be born last Friday. He is so angry and sad. Two of my sisters are seriously ill and a sister-in-law "once removed" is back in the hospital. I talked with a friend in South Carolina, and ended that talk feeling like I let her down by telling her we wouldn't be back until May. The clouds just kept filling my head, and I started justifying "bagging" the classes I had just joined so happily the week before. By Tuesday, an hour before I was to meet Eric for another training session, I was in full excuse-mode; trying to find a reason to call and cancel again. I felt so sad, depressed and heavy. Then, a voice broke through in my head, that pushed the others away and yelled, "Shut up and just go! Shut up and go!" So I went.

While I lifted weights over my head, looking at myself in the mirror, I felt so much better. I confessed my transgressions to Eric and told him how happy I was to be there. "It's hard to get out sometimes," he said, "but once you do, you're glad you did!" I have heard this many times, and it is so true. My body was sore last night and I came home tired.

But today, I am lighter. I went for a four-mile walk and texted my sister, Jeanne, that I was going and taking her with me. "Can you feel the sun on your face?" I texted to her. She was sitting in an oncology office getting her second R-CHOP chemotherapy treatment. As I walked, I imagined her next to me pushing me on. It was the music that drove me forward. I "put my hands up, put my hands up" over and over again, pumping my hips from side to side as I did; watching my shadow move on the road and laughing to myself. I sang out loud and laughed some more.

I greeted my friends, the horses, on my way. My good friend, came and licked my palm as I snapped his portrait and laughed again. I saw a cloud in the sky that looked like me running with my two pups running behind me. I laughed some more. I felt  free, light, strong and happy. It is a good day, and I feel totally different than I did when yesterday began.

This process of getting healthy and strong is a long road. But the road is worth travelling, as long as you have good music and the love of a supportive sister. All of these things let laughter fill my heart and make me wanna put my hands up! J Lo is one woman who makes my walks a dance fest. Enjoy!