Friday, January 30, 2015

What is my favorite event of the week?

It's Friday, and I am at the lake house in Gilbert, South Carolina. I decided a good exercise is to ask my Self at the end of each week, "What was your favorite event/moment/happening this week?"

Jackson and Mattie Grace
Without thinking too much about it, I walked two miles every day. This particular loop I take with my two little dogs, Jackson and Mattie Grace, involves walking up and down three steep hills. The roads are mostly dirt, with lots of rocks and divots to be aware of to prevent ankle twisting. I concentrated on pumping up each hill and being careful walking down. My right knee sometimes gives out on me unexpectedly, so I am conscious of the stress I put on it; on both my knees. I am overweight, so I pay attention to how my knees are feeling on the downhill sides especially.

When I pumped up hill, I had to stop at least once on the steepest hill. My heart felt like it would pound out of my chest, and I was breathing much too hard. I tried concentrating on deep inhales through my nose and deep exhales through my mouth. I noticed that when I breathed heavily and quickly as my body wanted to, in and out of my mouth, my mouth and throat got very dry, and my heart pounded faster. Consciously slowing down my breathing helped slow down my heart. I felt in control and powerful.

I also concentrated on walking through my entire foot: heel to toe. There is a machine my trainer makes me use at the gym in Tiverton, Rhode Island that requires me to lift a heavy weight with just my toes by pushing through with my calves. I think about this exercise as I push off with my toe to land on the other heel. I listen to my calves as I do this to see how they feel. I have to be careful not to extend my legs, especially my right leg, too straight because my knee can falter. I am also aware of this knee issue as I carefully walk downhill.
A springtime walk last year.

I noticed that some days I had more energy than others. I thought I would gain more energy as the week progressed, but noticed that yesterday, I got very tired. I'm not sure what that was about, but I will continue to pay attention to it.

I know I am overweight, and I eat healthily for the most part. But, I snacked too much this week. I will pay more attention to why I need to snack. Fruit just didn't cut it. I needed a vanilla Oreo. Just one was enough. I love peanut butter-filled prezels. Oh gawd, they are good... and salty. They are my crack. I will pay attention to this craving also.I know more protein is supposed to calm sweet/salty cravings, but what if I like them? These cravings are psychological, and I will continue to pay attention to the whys and wherefores of this as I move forward.

It's Superbowl weekend, and we are Patriots fans. We are in the south and the only Pats fans we know, but we are hosting a party nonetheless. I plan to cook chili. If our nephews come, I'll also have hot dogs. Chips/salsa and crudites. I plan to include healthy-as-I-can foods and not together. I believe in choices, especially while I'm figuring all this healthy lifestyle out for myself. A healthy lifestyle is a process. I have to keep reminding myself of this process to prevent Me from beating my Self up.

What was your favorite event of the week?

Wednesday, January 28, 2015


When I dream of home, it's always either our family home on Chestnut Street in Newton Upper Falls, Massachusetts or our grandparents' home on Abbott Street. Neither home looks exactly the same, but I always know in my dream that it is how it is supposed to be.

Two nights ago, while the "Blizzard of 2015" raged up north (we are at our lake house in South Carolina presently), I spent the entire night rescuing family and friends from the storm. I lived at Gummy and Papa's house, and tried desperately to convince friends to spend the night and not drive in the snow storm. "I have plenty of beds and food," I said, but some still insisted on driving. I felt frustrated, and woke up exhausted. In fact, I was exhausted all day, as if I had been shovelling out.

In the morning, I ran to the television for the latest news on how the storm was affecting my loved ones and our Rhode Island property. Then, I texted everyone to see how they were faring. Our neighbor, who borrowed our snow blower, gave us the skinny on our property, because our internet was down and we couldn't see our security cameras. He told us they had power, though, so we must also. I was frightened our generator would be drifted over with snow and wouldn't work if the power went out. Then I started seeing pictures on Facebook throughout the day as the inches grew; dogs adventured out to pee, and my son shoveled his snow blower out of a drift. I eventually calmed down as I received more and more information that everyone and everything was really all right.

Last night, I had a dream my parents were both alive. My siblings, who didn't look anything like my siblings were very young and my mother had an infant. I was an adult, and living at Gummy and Papa's house. I came to visit and found my little brother changing the baby's shitty diaper. I was very impressed he knew how to do it. Then I picked up the adorable little baby girl, and found she had shit again. She had diarrhea, poor little thing. Somehow I decided she needed greens for roughage. She kept shitting. When I removed her diaper, she had "mixed green salad" leaves coming out of her butt. I marched her little leaf-riddled butt over to my mother and the boys to lecture them on not feeding the baby leaves, "and this is what happens!" I yelled. My little brother reminded me, I fed the baby the leaves, and I apologized feeling very confused about why I did that. What a strange dream.

Dreams fascinate me. I never know what will come out of my head each night, but clearly, I am still trying to take care of everybody. No wonder I am tired. Sweet dreams, Y'all!