Nurturing Retreat Last Day

It is indeed summer in the south coast. Yesterday, I drove through a road race finish line in my neighborhood I saw no signs for and had no idea was happening. Today, I drove by a charity bike race and was annoyed with bicyclists hogging the road riding side by side. But, I breathed and waited until they noticed me behind them, moved over, and I passed them when it was safe on the narrow country roads. We were all lit up and relaxed from our exploits of the past few days.

Last night, was a true celebration with bottles of wine and lots of good food and female comradery. We talked, shared and laughed the night away until Barbara said, "Ding, dong." It was time for the two of us non-residents to go home and prepare for today. This morning, I took advantage of the delicious french toast on the table before me with my coffee. I have not eaten french toast in a very long time. It was glorious with syrup and fresh blueberries.

We had two final projects this morning. The first was another clay play date. Barbara taught us how to make clay stick figures and fill them out. We decided on poses, and mine was going to be one demonstrating naked dancing. Of course. I have always loved being naked outside, and this last clay woman would dance in all her naked glory. Barbara showed us the fun of running clay through a garlic press to make hair, and we all went wild with hair everywhere. My clay woman danced with a big smile on her face as was my face the entire weekend.

We enjoyed lunch with all our clay figures surrounding a vase of fresh flowers while we shared our joy from the weekend. Lastly, Barbara had us paint a stick figure then fill it out. My final creation surprised and amused me. She began as a dancing woman. She was. She was just a Wild Woman from the children's book, Where The Wild Things Are. I gave her red claws, red armpit hair, flaming red flowing hair on her head, red lipstick and a hairy body. She is adorable, and is an alter ego of mine. I am a Wild Woman....still. I just have to keep remembering that. But, I am one that spreads Light, Love and Joy wherever I go or dance or swim or walk. My little light will shine on brightly from now on.

Since this weekend was about self discovery, I discovered that I have come a long way over the many years I have been on the path to finding myself. I did not feel one ounce of pain during the entire weekend. When I am tapping the well within, I usually push some painful button, but found none this time. It is a first for me. I am finally comfortable in my own skin, love myself and accept who I am completely for the first time. I feel strong and confident again. I embrace my child within again. I relish expressing myself in many new ways and look forward to exploring them all going forward.

Thank you to all the women I met this weekend. They are all new friends. Thanks to Barbara for all her work to make us feel cared for, supported and pushed just a little to express that voice inside that must speak out loud. I hope to do more art journaling with her in the fall. I am smiling right now.